Hi Reader,

“I’m just not sure if I’m the same person at work as I am at home” is a statement I often hear when working with individuals behind closed doors. My response is always the same:

“So, if you’re not you at work, then who are you?”

Most of the time, this question is met with a shrug or an eye roll. And I don’t blame them, it's a tricky question to reflect on. That’s why I follow up quickly by asking, “What does it feel like to be you at work?” This question often sparks a revealing conversation.

The answer usually comes down to one core feeling: “I don’t feel safe.” More specifically, they don’t feel safe enough to be themselves.

This is concerning in a world that promotes diversity and inclusion. It limits teams that require diverse thinking to innovate. It is toxic in organisations that need to adapt to stay relevant. Sadly, it’s more common than it should be.

Why Respect is the Foundation

Creating a culture of respect within your team is vital. Giving your all is tough when part of your energy goes into pretending to be something you’re not. Unfortunately, many of us try to fit into a work environment that doesn’t encourage authenticity, leading us to protect ourselves by hiding our true selves.

That’s why I hear so many people say, “I’m not sure if I’m the same person at work as I am at home.” When I respond with, “So, if you’re not you at work, then who are you?” it’s important to remember that the true question is, “How does it feel to be you at work?” The answer should be, “I feel respected for being me. I feel safe to be me.”

How to be Yourself at Work

To be yourself at work and foster a genuine and positive work environment, you can focus on several key skills:

1. Assertive Communication: Clearly state your opinions, feelings, and needs while respecting others. This involves being polite yet firm, considerate, and listening well without interrupting. This communication style helps you express your true self and maintain strong relationships.
2. Recognising and Using Your Character Strengths: Understanding and applying your personal strengths, such as honesty, kindness, and humor, can help you be more authentic at work. These strengths allow you to interact genuinely and positively with colleagues. Click here to take your free character strengths survey.​
3. Mind Reading: Don’t assume you know what your colleagues or managers are thinking. This can lead to misunderstandings. Instead, communicate openly to clarify thoughts and intentions.
4. Me, Me, Me: Avoid blaming yourself for everything when things go wrong. Consider all factors objectively, which can help you better understand the situation and learn from it.
5. Responding to Good News Actively and Constructively: When colleagues share good news, responding with genuine interest and enthusiasm shows your authentic self and helps build stronger, more supportive relationships.

By observing and acting on these areas, you can make a huge impact, not only on the individual but also on the team and the organisation. The answer to the question, “Who are you at work?” should be simple: “Me.”

The team at Resilience Development Co.